From my own experience, I’ve learned time and again that one of the worst things you can do for someone is try to help them when they haven’t asked for it. Giving them unsolicited advice they don’t fucking need, introducing them to the right people, promoting them, pushing their project, investing money, resources, time, consulting, and so on.
In the end, you’ll be the person who does everything wrong, helps the wrong way, and generally just gets in the way. And all their failures will somehow be blamed on your “wrong” kind of help ) I’m working on not imposing my opinion on others and not trying to prove that I’m right with foam at the mouth.
Of course, I still get carried away sometimes — I’m only human. It usually happens when I’m talking to people close to me, such as my business partner, who also happens to be my brother ) But I’m learning to control it. In the past, it was much worse. I genuinely couldn’t understand why people who were doing some obviously stupid shit refused to listen to my incredibly fucking logical and helpful advice ))
There have also been times when people asked me for help with their projects, wanted advice on what to do in a particular situation, or asked for my perspective. I would explain what I would do, but instead of genuine interest or follow-up questions, I’d get a defence of their choices, actions, position, and so on.
After going through this many times, I came to one conclusion: being right is incredibly fucking important to people ) For many, defending their position in front of an opponent is like protecting their family from a lion or another predator. They genuinely feel threatened. It’s as though they’re defending their authority, trying not to lose face or damage their credibility. It doesn’t matter what the conversation is about or how serious it is — whether it’s a $1 million investment or which turn to take to reach point B faster.
Why has making a mistake — or rather, simply not knowing or not being able to do something — become so shameful? It’s some weird shit. Maybe it’s partly a relic of the past, when we were taught that we had to understand everything. At school, we were expected to know every subject and get top marks in physics, history, and even PE. At home, a man was supposed to be able to dig a hole, fix a leaking tap or a car, build a garage, and plant a vegetable garden. The same attitude applies to many areas of life: you’re expected to know and be able to do everything )
But there’s another approach: choose one narrow field, become the best specialist you can in it, achieve strong and visible results, and enjoy yourself without worrying too much about everything else 🙂 Basically, allow yourself not to know everything. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing or not understanding something. Doesn’t that sound great? What do you think?)
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